Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
