dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
