I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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