gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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