So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
