just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
