I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize