don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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