new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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