she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
