Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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