Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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