the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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