I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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