so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize