Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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