So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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