Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
