What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
