Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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