Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
