We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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