Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
