Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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