He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He better not be in your backpack
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
