yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
