respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
