a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
