So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
