I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
