you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
