hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
