Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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