I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
