I think scott just propositioned me for sex
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
