why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
