I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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