so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize