Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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