She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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