i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
