The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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