apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
