THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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