It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize