I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
