porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize