Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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