i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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