Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
