Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
