she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
