you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
