no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
