Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
