Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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