my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Ketchup is God's man juice
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
