But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
