Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
