So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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