Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
