I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
