she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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